Set your expectations low and you will never be disappointed. 

This is a concept that has time and time again proven to be true and they are words that I live by.

Expectations are a dangerous thing to have and I strive to at all moments and periods of my life to keep them at a minimum. The only expectations I have are of myself, and I try very hard to have none of others. Primarily for selfish reasons, I do not want to be disappointed, and secondly, because it is not fair to other people. Life and other things get in the way of properly fulfilling expectations and it is not fair to yourself or to others to be so stringent with them.

The good news too is if you keep your expectations low, people will be more likely to surprise you 🙂


Happiness, Like Water

“Happiness is like water,’ she says. ‘We’re always trying to grab onto it, but it’s always slipping between our fingers.”
― Chinelo Okparanta

This is one of the few books where I found myself wondering why the author had chosen this title and what it meant. In my mind I had imagined water in its river form, and interpreted it as happiness is like water because it varies in flow. Sometimes it is an overwhelming river, and other times it is a slow and steady stream. My original theory, as you can see, is totally different from this revelatory quote. I have to say that I like this interpretation better than mine! Although more cynical than my original thought.

I have been really appreciating the sleuth of Nigerian authors that I have had the opportunity to read thanks to BookBub and BookRiot! Definitely nice to see a diversity of books being represented in these daily book deals.

This book was a true delight to read. The stories were intricate and different, but at the same time they seemed to tie together well. All beautiful short stories of Nigerian women interacting with America in different ways and dealing with various life stages. It’s impossible not to connect with at least one of the characters. I know that I particularly identified with a secondary character, with whom one of the characters falls in love with. There’s a scene where this young woman talks about love and tells her professor (the main character of the story) this:

“‘Really in love,’ she says, ‘the kind where every part of you feels like you could spend forever with the person. And you wish that forever could be more than a lifetime. The kind where you don’t see all the things that are wrong with the person, all the negatives that should have prevented you from falling for the person in the first place’”.

Chinelo Okparanta imparts much wisdom through her characters and raises even more questions than she answers. She is the type of author that is able to create short stories that are satisfying. I am usually not a fan of short stories because they always leave me wanting more, but with Okparanta, she gave me just enough to be satisfied while still ensuring that she created thought provoking narratives.

Through her stories she does leave you with the sense that happiness is like water. It is a hard thing to grasp and it isn’t meant to last forever. So whatever happy moments you get, enjoy them for they are fleeting. They will always escape through your fingers but that doesn’t have to be negative. As long as you enjoy the moments for what they are and understand that there will be more happiness to come.

“Because, as if in rebellion, certain emotions become amplified at the exact moments when you are expected not to feel them at all.” – Chinelo Okparanta


The Girl Who Fell From the Sky

This is the debut novel of Heidi W. Durrow and highlights characters who all struggle to make sense of a world they don’t belong in, racially or economically. The topic of this novel is extremely pertinent to our times, particularly with Rachel’s struggles with negotiating race as a biracial person and having to categorize life along racial lines.

Rachel’s struggles with race, upon living with her grandmother in the U.S., highlights how racialized American society is. Not that Rachel did not experience racism when she lived abroad, but it was racism with the same name and a different face. Racism is intertwined into the histories of countries in different ways and so it doesn’t always look the same. Doesn’t mean that it doesn’t exist, just means that you have to be aware that it might manifest itself in different forms.

The story within itself is very much left up to the reader to discern. There is a lot of ambiguity in the plot, and it is up to the reader to decipher it. It is a slow-paced book, the writing is not dramatized. It is a mellow style of writing that leaves a lot for the imagination.

The central theme of the book is that of identity; it is a story of searching for the north star that will help you navigate in a society that sees only what is skin-deep. It is a coming of age novel, mixed in with the mysteries that life bring. What would drive a mom to throw herself and her kids off a roof?

Although this book has garnered a lot of attention, I was not enamored with the writing style or the plot. It is a good read, but the ambiguity present throughout the book did not appeal to me. In addition, I was not able to connect with Rachel (main character). The other characters of the book were much more interesting, particularly, Jamie/Brick.

Nevertheless, this book is an essential biracial narrative as more and more individuals find themselves identifying as such. It is crucial that individuals like Heidi Durrow, who has such a unique upbringing and background, share her story with others for it always helps to know that you are not the only one out there.

“I’m not the color of my skin. I’m a story. One with a past and a future unwritten.”
― Heidi W. Durrow



When Breath Becomes Air

This book was chosen by a steering committee at my university and I volunteered to be a book discussion facilitator for it. I’m always looking for opportunities to interact with other people and be able to discuss books, particularly since reading is an independent activity. Book clubs and book discussion groups are always helpful to get different perspectives and aid in the synthesis of the book.

For this book discussion we started by asking everyone to describe the book in one word. Most people said something along the lines of “emotional”, “cathartic”, “hopeful”, etc. I was the only one who seemed to have a more cynical opinion of the book, and answered the question by saying “disappointing”.

I said the book was disappointing mainly because I have read many books of this nature and this novel did not bring anything new to the table. It is not to say that the book was not enjoyable, or that the ideas were not interesting, but in the grand spectrum of books written by doctors, this was not the best one. However, I do appreciate and respect Paul Kalanithi, and I think it was important that he actualize his potential as an author before his passing.

There were several snippets of the book that I did extremely enjoy, particularly when he explains his thought process on what to do about his diagnosis and how that would affect his life:

“My life had been building potential, potential that would now go unrealized. I had planned to do so much, and I had come so close. I’ve spent almost a third of my life preparing for it. I had mapped out this whole forty-year career for myself—the first twenty as a surgeon-scientist, the last twenty as a writer. But now that I am likely well into my last twenty years, I don’t know which career I should be pursuing. If I had some sense of how much time I have left, it’d be easier. If I had two years, I’d write. If I had ten, I’d get back to surgery and science. If only I knew how many months or years I had left. Tell me three months, I’d spend time with family. Tell me one year, I’d write a book. Give me ten years, I’d get back to treating diseases. The truth that you live one day at a time didn’t help: What was I supposed to do with that day?”

This section resonated with me because for a lot of us in higher education this is what it feels like. We go to school, and we get trained for years and years. We build up our potential but are not yet actualizing it; we are building potential energy and none of it is turning into kinetic energy.

Paul, in making this statement, made me reflect a lot on my own life and of this conundrum. What can I do, as of now, to actualize some of my potential? Cancer, or other life-threatening conditions, should not be what pushes us to ask these questions. We should always be considering what we can do now, because you truly never know how much time you have left. That is kind of the beautiful and sinister thing about life in modern times. Most of us will easily live to old age, thanks to modern technologies in medicine and decreases in infectious diseases. However, this is a luxury that not all of us will have and only time will tell who makes it through. We need to face our mortality on a more regular basis. Only to ensure that we are accomplishing the things we want to accomplish every day.

The last part of the quote that I highlighted above, “What was I supposed to do with that day?”,  reminds me that we should always strive to live in the present. We get too caught up in the past or in the future, and forget about all the things there are to experience NOW.  Very reminiscent of this panel I attended with the topic: “The evolution of scientific research over the last half century”. One of the researchers on the panel mentioned how important it is to enjoy the journey. When building all this potential, never forget that it is an active process and not passive.

“Good books often answer questions you didn’t even know you wanted to ask”
― Will Schwalbe




Book Deals for September 7th

Seems that I am unable to help myself from buying books. In my defense I did have some Amazon credit available to me so I willingly spent that.

In today’s interesting book deals:

When Broken Glass Floats: This book fits well into my book journey goals. Definitely about a place I have never read about and know almost nothing on except for the details a friend of mine from Cambodia shared here and there. Excited to see where it takes me!

Ten Thousand Saints: I did not actually purchase this one. I am restraining myself but it seems to be a good find as well. The description had this one sentence that really grabbed me: “A sweeping exploration of family, loss, and one generation’s attempts to escape the mistakes of their parents”.

History is All You Left Me: This one I could not help myself mainly because I haven’t read a sad love story in awhile. In a lot of the books I have been reading recently the love stories have not been central so it will be a nice change of pace. Additionally this book doesn’t follow the usual heteronormative angle that love stories take.

Happy Reading!

“You can tell if someone really loves Books by the way they look at them, how they open and close them, how they turn the pages.”
― Milena Busquets

Book Deals for September 5th

These are harrowing times it seems and it would only be fitting that the book that stood out to me today revolves around Hurricane Katrina: Salvage the Bones. Particularly poignant for these times with Hurricane Irma on her way.

Check it out!

“The question isn’t whether I have time to read or not (time that nobody will ever give me, by the way), but whether I’ll allow myself the pleasure of being a reader.”
― Daniel Pennac

Book Deals for September 1st

It is a little late for this but these books seem worthy of being publicized for being on sale today! I will unfortunately not be purchasing them since I need to put a halt on my purchases for awhile. Too many books to read. Best problem to have though!

The Bright Hour: This book stood out to me mainly because of the book cover! But after reading through the description I was struck by it. Particularly given the book I just finished this week, “When Breath Becomes Air”. This book also has a 5 star review with 210 reviews! Not bad at all!

I Know Why the Caged Bird Sings: This book is by Maya Angelou so needs no explanation. A must read!!

Happy Reading!

“I had found my religion: nothing seemed more important to me than a book. I saw the library as a temple.”
― Jean-Paul SartreThe Words

Mundane is Good 

The PhD life teaches you a lot of things, it teaches you how valuable your time is and that you have be careful how you spend your heartbeats. You learn to prioritize things and how to let certain things go. Unfortunately, there is not enough time in the day to do all the things you want to get done.

However, I have been struggling with the routine that is the PhD life. I have never been a fan of routine and thrive on unexpected developments. This is why I always try to keep myself busy with extra-curricular activities or things outside of just school. I require a lot of stimulation. Nevertheless, I am trying to learn how to appreciate the mundane. I think we are taught that life is supposed to always be dramatic, and that anything besides that is boring. In other words, it’s problematic to see time pass you by and is considered boring or mundane. I want to change my perspective on that and learn to appreciate the mundane. Only because that is what my life is right now and I refuse to be in a state where I do not look forward to things. I am, unfortunately, working on my potential energy right now and so can not yet fully actualize myself. That doesn’t mean though that I shouldn’t enjoy myself, just requires a little change in perspective.

Life Mottos:
1. It’s Fine
2. No One to Blame But Myself
3. The Mundane is Good

Book Deals for August 26th

At a departmental event today but there’s always time to be keeping an eye out for good deals! 

In today’s exciting deals: 

The Secret Life of Bees: this is just a must-read. It has a good reputation for good reasons. Please check out! 
The Last Lecture: a depressing book but an amazing book. Read it awhile ago and made me want to go to Carnegie Mellon. One of those books I’ll always remember. Leaves you with a lot to think about and potentially a lot to cry about. 
Happy Reading! 

“There comes a time when you have to choose between turning the page and closing the book.”

–Josh Jameson

Book Deals for August 21st

It is a little late to be posting this given that the day is almost over but because I am currently reading this book wanted to share:  A Girl Is a Half-formed Thing.

I will forewarn that this book is slow to start but it is written in such a creative way. I did have to pause with reading it for awhile because it took a lot of brain power to get through the chapters, due to the unique language she uses. But I am so glad I picked it back up!

If you are looking for something unique and reminiscent of Clockwork Orange’s creation of an English spinoff language, look no further.

“The ability to read awoke inside of me some long dormant craving to be mentally alive.”
― Malcolm XThe Autobiography of Malcolm X